Dear Journal, I'm a monster
by SammieGrace30
Summary: Grace is an happy, bouyant, energetic 7th year Ravenclaw who delights in making her Arithmancy instuctor, Professor Granger, very uncomfortable. Until a trip into the Forbidden Forest changes everything. Now she must come to terms with who and what she is


A/N: Hello readers! I'm back (and will be updating my other Harry Potter story very shortly!) with this fic that's a tangent off of the Hermione/Draco romance fic called A Change in Plans (check it out, its FANTASTIC!) by my very own Fairy Roses (a.k.a. Mandilla)

The story, for those who have read it and even those who haven't, deals with the character Grace (the main character in THIS story) and what happens to her on Halloween night, just the ride of her newly changed life... I swear it isn't as corny as it sounds... at least I hope not. I will warn you that this is the first serious fic I've ever written, so I will WORSHIP any constructive critism, especially about the development of Grace's character, and tips on how to stay far, far, FAR away from Mary Sue-Ville.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Grace, and actually I'm just borrowing her from Mandi... Damn... oh well, I have Remus living in my house :grins: and he's an animal :winks:

Conscience- tsk, tsk, tsk

Me- what? He IS an animal...every 28 days...

Conscience-tsk, tsk, tsk

Me- and I didn't steal that lollie-pop, that little girl practically GAVE it to me...

Enjoy the story!

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Isn't it funny how one decision can change the entire course of a person's life?

_Hello, my name is Grace Sirfalas, and I am a foolish idiot. A very screwed foolish idiot._

Grace looked up from her new journal at the sound of footsteps walking down the corridor. She was currently in the Serious Bite Ward of St. Mungos Hospital. The footsteps turned out to be of her Headmistress from Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall.

"How are you today, Grace?" she asked briskly, but with concern shining from her eyes.

Grace mustered up a noncommittal shrug, and muttered, "Alright, I suppose."

"Well, Professor Granger and Professor Malfoy are here to see you, are you feeling up to any visitors?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

Grace watched Professor McGonagall leave to fetch the two teachers and sighed. She bent over her journal to read what she had written so far. 'Foolish idiot is right,' she thought to herself, 'and soon to be a widely feared and hated idiot.' "And why shouldn't they hate me," she whispered fiercely, "I'm a bloody monster!"

"There's no use in being harsh on yourself, child."

Startled, Grace looked up from her journal, to see the nearby Healer who had spoken.

"I'm not a child." She said quietly, "I'm a werewolf."

"Well," shrugged the white-haired woman, "you still look like a child to me, and one who could use a couple of square meals and a Cheering Charm. Mark my words dear, you'll be feeling better soon enough. Your life may be different, but everything happens for a reason."

Grace said nothing and could only blink owlishly at the Healer. She was stunned that the older woman would even speak to her, let alone try to give her advice.

"Well," the Healer said glancing at the door, "it looks like you have company, and I must be getting on with my rounds. You take care, love."

As the Healer walked away, Headmistress McGonagall and the two Professors came into the ward.

"How are you feeling, Grace?" Professor Granger asked in a soothing voice.

"I'm a werewolf," she answered dully, "I'm never going to be normal again."

"Well, you were never were too normal to begin with-" Professor Malfoy started to say, but stopped after a glare from the other Professors. "Er...but I'm sure you'll be fine."

The old Grace would have giggled at such a remark, but as she had reminded herself since she received the bite, werewolves didn't laugh, they murdered things. These musings brought her to another worry.

"I can't ever go to school again," she said, "People are going to hate me!"

"That's not true," Professor Granger whispered softly. "You can still come to school, nobody knows you were bitten. They all think you were suspended for going into the forest."

"But what about nights of the full moon?"

McGonagall chose this time to intervene; she cleared her throat and began, "A few years ago, there was a teacher at Hogwarts who had lycanthropy. Professor Snape made him Wolfsbane Potion, and he didn't transform unless the moonlight shone directly on him."

This certainly caught Grace's attention, "No!" she yelled, near panic, "Not Snape! He hates me! He'll poison it! Please, please don't tell him!"

Professor Granger quieted her before she got too distraught. "No need to worry about that. I already talked to somebody about making the potion. Neville agreed to do it."

"Longbottom? Er, Granger, you had Potions with him..." Professor Malfoy said slowly.

"He's improved greatly. I trust him with this."

"So be it." The Headmistress declared, "Mr. Longbottom shall make the potion, and we'll all keep Grace's secret. Now, you two get out of here. Miss Sirfalas and I have some talking to do."

Hermione touched the young girl's hand before leaving with the other Professor.

"Now, Miss Sirfalas, you and I need to discuss the new restrictions that will be put on you once you return to Hogwarts." Seeing no objection, and to be honest no real response at all from Grace, she continued. "First, and quite obvious, you shall tell no one, except those you are absolutely certain you can trust, what has happened to you. That is for your own protection alone. For the protection of all those in the castle you will report to Professor Granger's room, the week proceeding every full moon. That is where you will take the Wolfsbane potion that will be waiting for you. You will spend the nights of the full moon in a room in the dungeons. If at anytime you feel the need to talk, my door is always open." For a brief second the stern look softened in her eyes, "it is a shame that this had to happen, but your entire future is still ahead of you. I am confident, Grace, that you can overcome any obstacle that will be placed in your way."

She then left after double checking that all points were understood, but leaving out her personal sentiments.

After everybody was gone, and the Healers had removed her bandages, Grace looked down at the almost forgotten journal in her lap and began to write again.

_I suppose I should better explain my situation, I don't suppose a journal could hate me for what I am...it kind of defeats the purpose really. I, Grace Sirfalas, am a newly-bitten werewolf. And it was through my own stupidity that I was even bitten in the first place._

_I wanted the adventure, I wanted the excitement, I wanted my last Halloween at Hogwarts to be a night I would never forget. Well, I suppose I got all three of my wishes._

_It all began when my friend Sarah and I were talking about the paranormal. Which is odd, because being both half-bloods, to one side of our family we WERE the paranormal. Sarah was explaining to me about the veil between this world and the spirit world. Supposedly she had gotten the information from one of the ghosts residing in the castle. Anyway, she told me that the veil between the two worlds was the thinnest on All Hallows Eve and if I wanted to have some paranormal experience, that that would be the night to do it. I, being the idiot that I am, decided to go exploring, and where you might ask? Why the __Forbidden__Forest__ of course, you know...for privacy and all that. Not like the entire school wouldn't be at the feast or anything. I can't believe what an imbecile I was. But I digress, back to the story._

_I ran the idea by one of my best friends, Aubrie Earfalas who's in Gryffindor. The responsible friend that she is, Aubrie warned me against going into the forest, but I disregarded her concerns. I knew nothing would happen to me, I was a very bright 17 year old girl, on the brink of her graduation from the top wizarding school in the world. Nothing could touch me. But something did touch me, a 180 pound, snarling, biting piece of something. _

_My attacker didn't get me without a fight of course, both Professor Granger and Professor Malfoy heard about what I was doing (from Aubrie I'm presuming, its not like I told the entire school I was going on a bloody ghost chase in the Forbidden Forest). Anyway, no matter how they found out, they went into the forest searching for me. They found me, and on our way back to the castle, the werewolf attacked. I owe Professor Malfoy my life, if he hadn't killed the werewolf when he did, I wouldn't be here today. I haven't decided yet whether I'm more resentful or grateful to him._

_I mean, what sort of successful life can there be for me now? All of the things I wanted to do in my future are out of reach, for good. I wanted to become a teacher, and to have a family. There is no way I am going to be able to do either now. There are no teaching positions that are going to open up at Hogwarts anytime soon, and no other school would dare hire a monster. And kids? Hah! Potion or not, I don't think the ministry even allows Lycans to have children, in fear that they'll pass on the gene. Stupid Ministry, stupid werewolves, stupid Malfoy, stupid Sarah, stupid ghosts, and stupid, stupid, STUPID me! I like this medicine though; it's making everything very squiggly. And now that I've filled you in beginning of my new life, I think I will take a break from writing; until the next unfortunate happening in my doomed life._

_Yours,_

_Grace J Sirfalas_

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Well? What did you think? I hope it isn't too confusing... I tried to make it so that even those who haven't read A Change in Plans could understand. I know it's short; I just wanted to test the waters and see what sort of a response I got. Remus WILL be featured next chapter, I promise! 

Feedback would be GREATLY appreciated, and for the fans (if any) of Hiding Here, There, and Everywhere, the story WILL be updated very shortly... junior year sucks, I've been so busy...and lazy...but still very busy lol!

Review PLEASE! And I will love you forever!

Sam


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